The link between mindfulness and resilience is very well documented. Recently, a study at Florida State University found mindful college students were more like to find benefit in adversity. When faced with perceived failure, they also remained confident of their academic abilities (Hanley et al., 2015).
So how can we help children establish a more mindful attitude?
Created by Michelle McDonald, the RAIN technique is a simple way for kids to notice and accept their feelings. Here are the four steps:
R-Recognize what is happening (“What is happening in this moment? How am I feeling?” “Where do I feel it in my body?”)
Example: “I’m so mad at myself for failing my spelling test. I want to cry.”
A-Allow life to be just as it is (“I can let the thoughts or feelings just be here. Even if I don’t like it.”)
Example: “I am mad and I feel like crying. It’s uncomfortable but I can allow myself to feel this way.”
I-Investigate with kindness (“Why do I feel this way?” “Is it really true?”)
Example: “I notice I’m also a little disappointed in myself too, not just mad. I’m wondering why? Maybe it’s because I think I could have studied more.”
N-Non-Identification (“I am having a thought or emotion, but I am not that thought or emotion.”)
Example: “I can have angry and disappointed feelings without being those feelings. I am bigger than how I feel at this moment.”
To practice the RAIN strategy, simply print the above steps and model it using one of your own failures. Then ask if your child would like to try this process with her recent mistake.
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