Types of Emotional Regulation

Emotional dysregulation means that an emotional response does not fall within the conventionally accepted range of emotive responses.

In other words, your kid is literally losing their S*&# because you gave them the wrong color socks today.

Actually, there’s a good chance that they don’t even know what the emotion they’re feeling is.  You can’t cope with something that you can’t even label or understand.

Types of Emotional Regulation

There are actually two types of emotional regulation. These are mutual regulation (sometimes called co-regulation) and self-regulation.

Mutual Regulation

Mutual regulation (or co-regulation) means your child needs YOU to help them regulate their emotions. When they’re upset you need to soothe them, help them calm down. They can not use healthy coping strategies on their own.

Most kids with autism are dependant upon mutual regulation some, if not all, the time. Does your child come to you when they need help regulating? Or, do you need to recognize behavioral cues and be proactive?

Self-Regulation

Self-regulation means your child can calm down and cope with their emotions all on their own. They can walk away from a frustrating situation. They can take deep breaths to calm down and return to an activity.

Your child may even recover from a meltdown on their own.

There’s a developmental trajectory of milestones your child will meet as their self-regulation skills develop.

First will be mutual regulation, with you responding to their cues. Next, they’ll initiate the mutual regulation. Then, some self-regulation skills emerge with you modeling the right strategies.

Over time as skills develop your child will start being able to recover from meltdowns sooner, and they will be less intense.