New Years Eve ideas for kids

Most New Year's Eve celebrations are full of loud music and people drinking to forget the last year of their life. I want to make NYE a fun night for my kids. I want them to know there are more ways to celebrate than with drinking and craziness.

I searched around the internet and found a few things that we will be doing tonight. I already know the kids will stay awake and hang out with us waiting for the ball to drop at Times Square in NYC so we can say HAPPY NEW YEAR. I also already know, I'll be ready for bed three minutes later!

NYE falls on a Saturday this year. I don't like driving on major holidays just because in you increase your chances of getting hit by drunk or drugged up drivers.

Here is a live feed of the NYC ball drop  http://timessquareball.net/



Make mini clocks
Dip oreos or any cookie into chocolate and use icing to draw a clock.


Party Hats
The long wait from normal bedtime to midnight can take forever. I think we are going to make party hats. We have a ton of craft supplies we can use to decorate our hats.



I noticed blank masquerade masks at the dollar tree if you want you can decorate one of those instead of a party hat. Or make your own





Fireworks in a jar
Food coloring dissolves in water but not in oil.   The oil is less dense than the water, it will float to the top.  The food color droplets will begin to sink because they are heavier than the oil.  Once they sink into the water, they will begin dissolving into the water (which looks like a tiny explosion).

Fill a clear jar or glass with water. In a shallow dish or plate add 5 tbsp of oil, then using food coloring drop different colors into the oil (not touching each other), add glitter and with a fork gentle mix it all together. Then pour the oil into the jar of water.

Party Horns
http://hungryhappenings.com/2011/12/sugar-cone-party-horns-new-years-eve-food.html/

AULD LANG SYNE

We might be concentrating on New Year's Resolutions and finding somebody nearby for a celebratory kiss at midnight, but Auld Lang Syne is a reminder to remember and cherish old friendships, good deeds and toast health and good will for the year ahead. 

Auld Lang Syne means "old long since" or "long long time". 


                                                







We all sing Auld Lang Syne at midnight on December 31 but what are the lyrics? Most people don't know that it is a Scottish poem written in 1788 by Robert Burns and later set to the music of a folk song. I've put in the English translation.

A pretty version of Auld Lang Syne, with lyrics (and part translation). "Auld Lang Syne" (Scots pronunciation: [ˈɔːl(d) lɑŋˈsəin]: note "s" rather than "z") is a Scots poem written by Robert Burns in 1788 and set to the tune of a traditional folk song (Roud # 6294). It is well known in many countries, especially in the English-speaking world, its traditional use being to bid farewell to the old year at the stroke of midnight. By extension, it is also sung at funerals, graduations and as a farewell or ending to other occasions. The international Boy Scout youth movement, in many countries, uses it to close jamborees and other functions.



Should Old Acquaintance be forgot,
and never thought upon;
The flames of Love extinguished,
and fully past and gone:
Is thy sweet Heart now grown so cold,
that loving Breast of thine;
That thou canst never once reflect
On old long syne.

CHORUS:
On old long syne my Jo,
On old long syne,
That thou canst never once reflect,
On old long syne.

A manuscript of "Auld Lang Syne" is held in the permanent collection of The Lilly Library at Indiana University in Bloomington, Indiana.

Complete lyrics

Burns' original Scots verse[4]	English translation (minimalist)	Scots pronunciation guide (as Scots speakers would sound)	IPA pronunciation guide[10] (Burns' own Ayrshire dialect)
Should auld acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind? Should auld acquaintance be forgot, and auld lang syne*? CHORUS: For auld lang syne, my jo, for auld lang syne, we'll tak' a cup o' kindness yet, for auld lang syne. And surely ye'll be your pint-stoup! and surely I'll be mine! And we'll tak' a cup o’ kindness yet, for auld lang syne. CHORUS We twa hae run about the braes, and pou'd the gowans fine; But we've wander'd mony a weary fit, sin' auld lang syne. CHORUS We twa hae paidl'd in the burn, frae morning sun till dine; But seas between us braid hae roar'd sin' auld lang syne. CHORUS And there's a hand, my trusty fiere! and gie's a hand o' thine! And we'll tak' a right gude-willie waught, for auld lang syne. CHORUS	Should old acquaintance be forgot, and never brought to mind? Should old acquaintance be forgot, and old lang syne? CHORUS: For auld lang syne, my dear, for auld lang syne, we'll take a cup of kindness yet, for auld lang syne. And surely you'll buy your pint cup! and surely I'll buy mine! And we'll take a cup o' kindness yet, for auld lang syne. CHORUS We two have run about the slopes, and picked the daisies fine; But we've wandered many a weary foot, since auld lang syne. CHORUS We two have paddled in the stream, from morning sun till dine†; But seas between us broad have roared since auld lang syne. CHORUS And there’s a hand my trusty friend! And give me a hand o' thine! And we'll take a right good-will draught, for auld lang syne. CHORUS	Shid ald akwentans bee firgot, an nivir brocht‡ ti mynd? Shid ald akwentans bee firgot, an ald lang syn*? CHORUS: Fir ald lang syn, ma jo, fir ald lang syn, wil tak a cup o kyndnes yet, fir ald lang syn. An sheerly yil bee yur pynt-staup! an sheerly al bee myn! An will tak a cup o kyndnes yet, fir ald lang syn. CHORUS We twa hay rin aboot the braes, an pood the gowans fyn; Bit weev wandert monae a weery fet, sin ald lang syn. CHORUS We twa hay pedilt in the burn, fray mornin sun til dyn; But seas between us bred hay roard sin ald lang syn. CHORUS An thers a han, my trustee feer! an gees a han o thyn! And we'll tak a richt‡ gude-willie-waucht‡, fir ald lang syn. CHORUS	ʃɪd o̜ːld ə.kwɛn.təns bi fəɾ.ɡot, ən nɪ.vəɾ brɔxt tɪ məin? ʃɪd o̜ːld ə.kwɛn.təns bi fəɾ.ɡot, ən o̜ːl lɑŋ səin? CHORUS: fəɾ o̜ːl lɑŋ səin, mɑ dʒo, fəɾ o̜ːl lɑŋ səin, wiːl tɑk ə kʌp ə kəin.nəs jɛt, fəɾ o̜ːl lɑŋ səin. ən ʃeːr.li jiːl bi juːɾ pəin.stʌup! ən ʃeːr.li ɑːl bi məin! ən wiːl tɑk ə kʌp ə kəin.nəs jɛt, fəɾ o̜ːl lɑŋ səin. CHORUS wi two̜̜ː heː rɪn ə.but ðə breːz, ən puːd ðə ɡʌu.ənz fəin; bʌt wiːv wɑn.əɾt mʌ.ne ə wiːɾɪ fɪt, sɪn o̜ːl lɑŋ səin. CHORUS wi two̜̜ː heː pe.dlt ɪn ðə bʌɾn, freː moːɾ.nɪn sɪn tɪl dəin; bʌt siːz ə.twin ʌs bred heː roːrd sɪn o̜lː lɑŋ səin. CHORUS ən ðeːrz ə ho̜ːn, mɑ trʌs.tɪ fiːɾ! əŋ ɡiːz ə ho̜ːn ə ðəin! ən wiːl tak ə rɪxt ɡɪd wʌ.lɪ wo̜ːxt, fəɾ o̜lː lɑŋ səin. CHORUS

^† dine = "dinner time"
^‡ ch = voiceless velar fricative, /x/, at the back of the mouth like /k/ but with the mouth partly open like /f/. Similar to "Bach" in German
^* syne = "since" or "then" – pronounced like "sign" rather than "zine".

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Happy birthday to my Mom

I know you have everything in the world so if there is one thing I want to wish for you, it would be good health and more years to spend with your children and grandchildren. Happy Birthday Mom!

                                                     


 


 

Make a cloud in a bottle

Make a cloud in a bottle

WINTER BOREDOM BUSTERS FOR KIDS

                                                 




            WINTER BOREDOM BUSTERS



IVORY SOAP CLOUDS   

I recently begun looking into making a huge vat of laundry soap. With a family of 6, I spend a lot of time washing clothes and budgeting for laundry detergent.
When I was a new mom in 2004 everything had to be baby safe and all natural. Nowadays. not so much.
I came across this great way to expand the ivory soap to make it easier to grate into your soap mixture.
Place the soap on a piece of wax paper and start the microwave for a few minutes. You can stop it whenever you'd like. Also, others have pointed out that you MUST ONLY USE IVORY and the fresher the bar the bigger the cloud. Don't drop or you'll get a powdery mess!

Keeping the bar over the wax paper or a cookie sheet you can crumble it and press the crumbles into cookie cutter molds or silicone molds to make individual soaps. Or just put it in the bathtub with them.


CHEERIO BIRD FEEDER

The winter makes it harder for birds to find food. Worms are hibernating and plants aren't producing seeds.
There's a minute to win it game where you hold a pipe cleaner in your mouth and pick fruit loops. Since this will be for the birds you can use Cheerios. Just use string to hang them from a tree and you can check to see if the birds ate any.


ICE CRYSTAL BALLS      

Fill water balloons with water and freeze on a cookie sheet or place outside overnight if the temperatures are cold enough. When you get your ice balls cut the balloon off and you'll have an ice ball. You can add food coloring to the balls to make them different colors. I wouldn't suggest this for a birthday party that will be attended by several little kids. I'd hate for someone to think it's OK to toss one at another person.
I've also seen on Pinterest where you can cut out an indent and place the ice ball on top of a battery operated tea light. Glowing ice balls look awesome on a walking path.


Kool-Aid SNOW PAINT                

We don't drink Kool-Aid anymore but I do have a few packets in the cabinet. All you need is a spray bottle or squirt bottle, pour in the Kool-Aid powder, and add water. Shake it up well and send the kids outside to spray the snow.


UNUSUAL SNOWMAN CONTEST

Who can make the silliest and most unusual snowman. Nothing is off limits! Upside down, in the middle of a cartwheel, sitting at the dinner table, taking out the trash... if you can dream it.. BUILD IT!


DUCT TAPE SLED

If the forecast says snow is coming start making a homemade sled. Using duct tape and cardboard you can create your own sled.

January Photo Challenge for homeschoolers

Our Homeschool is learning about photography and photographers for the month of January. We're going to take a photo everyday of something that represents our daily topic.

Our Photography Challenge

I want to have the kids practice their photography skills. I think by now, they are awesome at remembering to record videos horizontal. There are a few photography tips and tricks videos I plan on having the kids watch. I think surrounding the kids with information or "hacks", as they call them will spark an interest. When all four kids work together the results are amazing. 

1. New Year
2. chocolate
3. green
4. outside
5. family
6. friends
7. books
8. pets
9. toys
10. quiet
11. colorful
12. natural
13. sleep
14. organized
15. music
16. laughter
17. love
18. fancy
19. sunshine
20. cozy
21. gray
22. simple
23. cold
24. landscape
25. relaxing
26. water
27. moon
28. food
29. mess
30. home
31. happiness 

I think those are some basic ideas we can work with. I'm sure things will get creative and I hope it allows the kids to understand not everything is as simple as it may seem. 

Art Heals

How art helped a man cope with mental hardship, from OCD to the death of his sister

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/how-art-helped-a-man-cope-with-mental-hardship-from-ocd-to-the-death-of-his-sister-william-doan-penn-a7446116.html

PHOTO GALLERY LINK

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/how-art-helped-a-man-cope-with-mental-hardship-from-ocd-to-the-death-of-his-sister-william-doan-penn-a7446116.html#gallery

An illustrator's brutally honest and witty take on living with mental illness

http://www.independent.co.uk/life-style/health-and-families/ruby-elliot-an-illustrators-brutally-honest-and-witty-take-on-living-with-mental-health-problems-a7419256.html

I've been reading a lot about using art to help deal with stress and anxieties. As a homeschooling mom of 4, I know all too well about stress and anxiety. The roads I've travelled to get to this exact place in my life weren't all paved and downhill. I've used art as a creative outlet before and I'm sure I'll do it again. Some people enjoy crocheting or knitting, others not so much they'd rather make a collage or sing in the shower at the top of their lungs. 

Now that the weather has turned cold and wet we're becoming more and more idle in our days. I've noticed the kids bickering more. Chris, who loves being outside and fixing things, is staying in more and joining in on the maddness. I'm over this hibernation. Winter just officially began and I'm ready to do all I can to get these kids outside and let some cloudy sunshine kiss our faces.

I thought about joining a paint night with the kids, but they are mostly for grownups to paint and drink wine. 

I found an activity on pinterest where you make your own unique road sign. This activity would allows us to choose a positive direction based on self-acceptance and appreciation for ourselves. 

We went to the Baltimore Museum of Art and we participated in a postcard exhibit. You wrote on the postcard what you thought "Home" meant. On another sticky label you wrote your address. Two weeks later the postcards were mailed. We didn't get the ones we filled out, but it continued our interesting conversation when the one that arrived. 

Using index cards as pretend postcard I want the kids to write encouraging words and we can mail them to others or use for each other. Sometimes a simple drawing or a phrase can make a world of difference to our moods. 

Making a large circle and telling the kids --this is a crystal ball. Put in the crystal ball all the things you see for yourself in the next few weeks or months. 

Using a poster board trace the part of the body that holds the most stress. For some of us its our guts, others our brain, and some our chest. Laying down on the poster board and having someone trace that part of your body you can step back and fill that space with all the feelings it's been holding. 

Nurturing a true self-love for a body’s abilities rather than perceived liabilities is a vital step towards living a physically and emotionally healthy lifestyle.

Merry Christmas

                                 

Christmas morning is always the best part of the whole day. You awaken with exhausted excitement and run to the tree. You get a huge smile while checking out the goodies. Next, you try to wake up mom and dad. 

Here at my house, once the gifts are opened and the stockings are emptied everyone hangs out here in the living room waiting for me to fully wake up and make breakfast. 

If they get an awesome outfit they run to their room to try it on. If someone gets an awesome toy you immediately open it and they start playing. 

My issue is, what are you supposed to do for the rest of today? A lot of people don't celebrate Christmas. They already know what they're going to do, life goes on as normal. 

In our house Dad doesn't open his gifts all at once. He has huge self control and only opens one gift every hour to make the excitement last longer. Kids and me not so much!

I found a few games online you can make to play as a family that are christmas themed. You can play Pin the red nose on the Reindeer, go on a reindeer or santa hunt (just print out several photos and hide them around your yard), you can even fill up some tiny boxes with mini marshmallows and venture outside to look for things that dropped from Santa's sled. 

When my kids were little they'd get a movie and we'd spend the day watching the movie over and over. Now that I have tweens, I know, I'm going to have to put in more effort of presenting them with things to do as a family before they get the urge to log on to Roblox or Minecraft. 

Hanukkah

                                              
 December 24th is the first night of Hanukkah, so here’s a quick primer on the Jewish Festival of Lights.

The holiday lasts eight days and will run this year through January 1. The key ceremony at the center of Hanukkah, also spelled Chanukah, is lighting a menorah each night. The eight nights of lighting the branched candelabrum represent the eight nights a one-day supply of oil miraculously lasted for a small band of Jewish people in 165 B.C. fighting to defeat the Greek army.

These days, people also celebrate Hanukkah by eating foods fried in oil, such as potato pancakes called latkes. There are also customary games children play, like spinning a dreidel, and they receive chocolate coins called gelt for victory.


What is the history behind Hanukkah?

The word Hanukkah means 'rededication' and commemorates the Jews' struggle for religious freedom when, according to legend, the leaders of a Jewish rebel army called the Maccabees rose up against their Greek-Syrian oppressors in the Maccabean Revolt of 167 BC (BCE).

King Antiochus had taken over the Second Temple in Jerusalem and soon after ordered an altar to Zeus to be erected. Judaism was prohibited, circumcision was banned and pigs were ordered to be sacrificed at the altar.

The Jewish rebellion that followed was led by Judah Maccabee, (or Y'hudhah HaMakabi, meaning "Judah the Hammer").

The uprising spanned three years until the Maccabees gained control of Jerusalem.


                         Bust of Antiochus IV at the Berlin Altes Museum



Judaism's central text the Talmud, dictates only pure olive oil with the seal of the high priest can be used for the Hanukiah.

They wanted to rededicate the desecrated temple, but could find only one container of the sacred oil needed which had the seal of the high priest still intact.

The candelabrum is required to burn throughout the night every night but although there was only enough oil for one day, the candles miraculously stayed alight for eight days – the time needed to prepare a fresh supply of kosher oil for the menorah.

This event became known as 'the miracle of the oil' and is now marked with this eight-day festival.

And what about traditional Hanukkah food?

For Hanukkah, Jews customarily eat fried foods to commemorate the miracle associated with the temple oil.
Classic Sufganiyot: Delicious jam-filled doughnuts called 'sufgies' are a Hanukkah staple



'Sufganiyot' are round deep-fried jam- or custard-filled doughnuts which are topped with powdered sugar.

These are said to derive from from a yeast dough pastry mentioned in the Talmud. These pastries were cooked in oil and called sufganin (absorbent) because they absorbed a lot of oil in cooking.

In more Northern communities, where olive oil was scarce and expensive, goose or chicken fat was often used for frying so potato pancakes (latkes), apple fritters, and other non-dairy fried foods became the norm.

Why are dairy products popular during Hanukkah?

During the Babylonian captivity of the Jews, the town of Bethulia in Judea was under siege and its population on the verge of surrender due to lack of water.

A young woman called Judith requested a meeting with Nebuchadnezzar's top General, the Assyrian Holofernes, who was directing the siege outside the town walls.


'Judith Beheading Holofernes' by Caravaggio CREDIT: GALLERIA NAZIONALE D'ARTE ANTICA

She entered the Holefernes camp and seduced him, fed him salty cheeses so that he would become thirsty and served him wine so he would fall asleep.

She then killed him and returned to the town with his severed head.

The Assyrians, having lost their leader, fled and Israel was saved. Judith remained unmarried for the rest of her life and in memory of her bravery and purity Jews make sure to eat dairy products during Hanukkah.

Nowadays, even though olive oil is affordable, dairy is often added on top of a latke - usually in the form of a dollop of sour cream.

Is it Chanukah or Hanukkah?

In Hebrew, Hanukkah is pronounced with the letter 'chet'. The letter “H” makes the closest sound. So both names work.


Celebrating Hanukkah with a dreidel

Games are often played during the festival, including spinning the dreidel which is the Yiddish word for a spinning top.

A dreidel is a pointed, four-sided top which can be made to spin on its pointed base. Dreidels are normally made of plastic or wood and there is a Hebrew letter embossed or printed on each of the dreidel's four sides.

These four letters form the acronym of the phrase: "Nes gadol hayah sham," "A great miracle happened there"; a reference to the Hanukkah miracle of the oil.




The dreidel dates back to the time of the Greek-Syrian rule over the Holy Land - the one which set off the Maccabean revolt (see above). Learning Torah was outlawed by the enemy, a 'crime' punishable by death and Jewish children were forced to study in secret.

If the Greeks came calling, the pupils would pull out their tops and pretend to be playing a game.


And finally...'Hello' (or rather 'Shalom')

Comedian Ari Blau provides an unapologetically tone-deaf rendering of Adele's 'Hello' just in time for Hanukkah.

So “shalom from the Kosher aisle" and have a Happy Hanukkah everybody!

Merry Christmas Eve Christmas Jokes

Christmas Eve is Santa's busiest day of the year when he has to travel over 220 million miles (355 million km) to get to every house on earth!


You can see where Santa's got to on www.santaupdate.com

 Christmas Cracker Jokes 

Here are some bad Christmas Jokes.

Jokes

What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?
Claustrophobia!

Why does Santa have three gardens?
So he can 'ho ho ho'!

Why did Santa's helper see the doctor?
Because he had a low "elf" esteem!

What kind of motorbike does Santa ride?
A Holly Davidson!

What do you call a cat in the desert?
Sandy Claws!

Who delivers presents to cats?
Santa Paws!

What do you call a dog who works for Santa?
Santa Paws!

What do you call Father Christmas in the beach?
Sandy Clause!

What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective?
Santa Clues!

What did the sea Say to Santa?
Nothing! It just waved!

What does Santa do with fat elves?
He sends them to an Elf Farm!

What do you get if you cross Santa with a duck?
A Christmas Quacker!

Who delivers presents to baby sharks at Christmas?
Santa Jaws

What says Oh Oh Oh?
Santa walking backwards!

What goes Ho Ho Whoosh, Ho Ho Whoosh?
Santa going through a revolving door!

What is Santa's favorite place to deliver presents?
Idaho-ho-ho!

Why does Santa go down the chimney on Christmas Eve?
Because it 'soots' him!

Who is Santa's favorite singer?
Elf-is Presley!

What do you call Santa's little helpers?
Subordinate clauses!

What do Santa's little helpers learn at school?
The elf-abet!

What did Santa say to the smoker?
Please don't smoke, it's bad for my elf!

Where does Santa go when he's sick?
To the elf center!

Where do elves go to dance?
Christmas Balls!

What do elves eat for breakfast?
Frosted Flakes!

What do you call a frozen elf hanging from the ceiling?
An elfcicle!

Who is the king of Santa's rock and roll helpers?
Elfis! (Thank you, thank you very much!)

What type of Shoes does Santa wear when he travels on a train?
Platforms!

What do you get if Santa goes down the chimney when a fire is lit?
Krisp Kringle!

Who is Santa Claus married to?
Mary Christmas!

How long do a reindeers legs have to be?
Long enough so they can touch the ground!

What do reindeer hang on their Christmas trees?
Horn-aments!

Why are Christmas trees so bad at sewing?
They always drop their needles!

Which of Santa’s reindeers have to mind their manners most?
Rude-olph!

What's worse than Rudolph with a runny nose?
Frosty the snowman with a hot flush!

Did Rudolph go to school?
No. He was Elf-taught!

Why did the Rudolph cross the road?
Because he was tied to the chicken!

What do you call Rudolph with lots of snow in his ears.
Anything you want, he can't hear you!

Why did the turkey cross the road?
Because he wasn't chicken!

Why did the turkey cross the road?
Because it was the chicken's day off!

What happened to the turkey at Christmas?
It got gobbled!

Why did the turkey join the band?
Because it had the drumsticks!

What do you get when you cross a snowman with a vampire?
Frostbite!

What do snowmen wear on their heads?
Ice caps!

How do snowmen get around?
They ride an icicle

What do snowmen eat for lunch?
Iceburgers!

When is a boat just like snow?
When its adrift!

What song do you sing at a snowman's birthday party?
Freeze a jolly good fellow!

How does Good King Wenceslas like his pizzas?
One that's deep pan, crisp and even!

Who hides in the bakery at Christmas?
A mince spy!

What did Adam say on the day before Christmas?
It's Christmas, Eve!

How many letters are in the angelic alphabet?
The Christmas alphabet has "no EL"!

What carol is heard in the desert?
O camel ye faithful!

What do angry mice send to each other at Christmas?
Cross Mouse Cards!

What is the best xmas present in the world?
A broken drum, you just can't beat it!

How do sheep in Mexico say Merry Christmas?
Fleece Navidad!

How did Scrooge with the football game?
The ghost of christmas passed!

What athlete is warmest in winter?
A long jumper!

What do you get if you eat Christmas decorations?
Tinsilitis!

What is the worst disease that you get at Christmas?
Excemas!

What's green, covered in tinsel and goes 'ribbet ribbet'?
A Mistle-toad!

What's the most popular Christmas wine?
'I don't like Brussels sprouts!'

Why do ghosts live in the fridge?
Because it's cool!

What happened to the man who stole an Advent Calendar?
He got 25 days!

What did the beaver say to the Christmas Tree?
Nice gnawing you!

Why are Christmas Trees like bad knitters? They keep loosing their needles!

What do you get if you cross a Christmas tree with an apple?
A pineapple!

What do crackers, fruitcake and nuts remind me of?
You!

What's the best thing to put into a Christmas Cake?
Your teeth!

What do you get if you cross a bell with a skunk?
Jingle Smells!

Where would you find chili beans?
At the north pole!

Why don't penguins fly?
Because they're not tall enough to be pilots!

What do sheep say at Christmas?
Wool-tide Bleatings! or A Merry Christmas to Ewe!

What do you call a bunch of chess players bragging about their games in a hotel lobby?
Chess nuts boasting in an open foyer!

What's green, covered in tinsel and goes ribbet ribbet?
Mistle-toad!

Which football team did the baby Jesus support?
Manger-ster United!

What do you call a three legged donkey?
A wonky donkey!

Children: This turkey tastes like an old sofa!
Mom: Well, you asked for something with plenty of stuffing!

Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Pudding
Pudding who?
Pudding in your face!

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Snow
Snow who?
Snow business like show business!

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Hanna
Hanna who?
Hanna partridge in a pear tree!

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Holly
Holly who?
Holly-days are here again!

Knock knock!
Who's there?
Harold
Harold who?
Hark the Harold Angels Sing!

Santa went to the Doctors with a problem.
Doctor: What seems to be the problem?
Santa: I seem to have a mince pie stuck up my bottom!
Doctor: Well your in luck because I've got just the cream for that!

Christmas One-liners

Two snowmen in a field, one turned to the other and said "I don't know about you but I can smell carrots."!

Did you know that Santa's not allowed to go down chimneys this year? It was declared unsafe by the Elf and Safety Commission.

There were two biscuits, on a plate, all ready for Santa to eat. One biscuit decided to go and hide in the biscuit tin as it didn't want to get eaten. As it was going to the kitchen, Santa came in and stood on it and all the other biscuit could say was 'Crumbs'!.